She comes to a river and cannot see a bridge anywhere nearby.
She spots another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoohoo doll!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You're already on the other side!"
Running Jokes # 2
Deciding to take up jogging, the man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk: "What is this little pocket thing here on the side for?"
And the clerk: "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."
Running Jokes # 3
President Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway
when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.
He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid says, "I want to go to Disneyland."
Bush says, "No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One."
The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
Bush says, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"
The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"
Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped."
The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!!!"
Running Jokes # 4
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still
far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next
city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an
hour or two of sleep.
As luck would have it, the quiet place
he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes.
No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a
knocking on his window.
He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
"Yes?""Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?
"
The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15."
The jogger said thanks and left.
The man settled back again
and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the
window and another jogger.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?""8:25!"
The jogger said thanks and left.
Now the man could see other
joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time
before another one disturbed him.
To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a
sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"
Once again he settled back to sleep.
He was just dozing off
when there was another knock on the window.
"Sir? It's 8:45."
Running Jokes # 5
a brunette was jogging down the street saying "66,66,66" etc.
a blonde comes up behind her asking her "why are you saying 66."
The bruette says "It helps me jog better."
So, the blonde goes across the street and starts saying "66,66" etc.
The brunette yells "Its alot easier if you do it in the street."
So, the blonde goes in the middle of the street saying "66" all of a sudden a truck comes up and hits her.
The brunette keeps jogging down the road saying "67,67,67"
Running Jokes # 6
An older man decided to take up jogging. He was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the sports store.
While trying on a pair, he noticed an unusual pocket.
"What's this little pocket thing here for?""You can carry spare change in there, so you can call your wife to pick you up when you've jogged too far."
Running Jokes # 7
A man was walking down the street when a shabby homeless man asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you buy some Budweiser with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't gamble" the homeless man said.
"I need everything I can get just to stay alive. Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied, "Hey, man, that's okay! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up Budweiser, gambling, and golf."
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